


Lonely With Me

by Kkane88



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:06:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23605030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kkane88/pseuds/Kkane88
Summary: Tyler’s tired of hookups and wants a relationship, but no one takes him seriously... except for Jamie.
Relationships: Jamie Benn/Tyler Seguin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 167





	Lonely With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr:  
> [kkane88](https://kkane88.tumblr.com/)  
> [kwriteshockey](https://kwriteshockey.tumblr.com//)

"That girl over there's checking you out," Bish says, laughing, nodding toward the girl leaning against the bar. Her eyes are locked on Tyler, and when he glances over, she bites her lip and tilts her head coyly, obviously an invitation. Tyler looks back down at his drink. "You're not even gonna go talk to her? She's hot." He says it like he's surprised. Like Tyler hasn't turned down everyone that's approached him for weeks.

"I already told you," Tyler growls, "I'm not interested in hooking up. I want something serious." He's been saying this for over a month now and the boys still don't believe him. They still throw girls in front of him, laughing and teasing him when he doesn't take the bait. He's honestly hurt. The only one that seems to believe him is Jamie. He always puts a stop to the chirping, especially when he sees Tyler getting upset about it. Even now, he nudges Tyler and tilts his head toward the bar.

"Lets go get another round, eh?" he says, getting up and walking away without looking back, like he just knows Tyler's going to follow. And, yeah, of course Tyler's following. He's so grateful that he could _kiss_ Jamie. Well. He always wants to kiss Jamie. Every day, in fact. If he weren't so afraid of what it would do to their friendship, he probably would've tried that already.

Jamie leads him to the opposite side of the bar from where the girl is and Tyler's even more grateful. The bar isn't too crowded, so Jamie's able to get up to the front without much hassle, and Tyler scoots in next to him, pressing himself along Jamie's side. Jamie doesn't even blink, just wraps his arm around Tyler's waist like it's something he does all the time. Tyler's been pushing his luck recently, pressing into Jamie's space. He keeps waiting for the day Jamie steps back, or pushes him away. So far, all he's done is pull Tyler closer. He tries not to let hope bloom in his chest every time, but it's a lost cause. Jamie puts in their drink order while Tyler idly looks around the bar, trying not to stare at Jamie's face or get distracted by how large his hand is against Tyler's hip.

"You know the guys are just teasing, right?" Jamie asks once the bartender walks away to grab their drinks. His lips brush the tip of Tyler's ear and he almost doesn't comprehend the question. "That doesn't excuse them, but they're really not trying to hurt you."

"I know," he finally says once his brain starts working again. "It just sucks. You're the only one who takes me seriously around here."

"I wouldn't go that far," Jamie teases. Tyler nudges him with an elbow, careful not to dislodge the arm around his back. "They'll figure it out. Just don't let them get you down. I got your back."

"I know you do," Tyler says, grinning up at him. Jamie grins back and Tyler forgets where they are for a minute. Tyler didn't realize love could be so cliché until he met Jamie. It's honestly like everyone else in the room disappears when Jamie smiles at him like that. He clears his throat and carefully doesn't look away from Jamie when he says, "Maybe I should kiss a dude in front of them. I bet that would shock them." Jamie laughs, and Tyler's really glad he decided to come out to Jamie. Sure, at the time it was in the hopes that Jamie would come out to _him_ and then they could date, but that didn't happen. Tyler's still glad that Jamie's supportive. It would've made his life a lot worse if Jamie turned out to be an asshole.

"I'd save that for when we're not in public," Jamie says before side-eyeing him. "Unless a public coming-out is what you're going for." His tone isn't at all judgmental when he says it, like he would be cool with whatever Tyler decided to do.

"I could settle down with a nice guy," Tyler says as the bartender sets their drinks in front of them. Tyler might be hinting a bit too much here, but he's a hot mess, okay? The only person he wants to settle down with is Jamie. Jamie spins him around with a hand on the shoulder and starts guiding him back to the table. He's pressed up close behind Tyler, the warmth of him making Tyler want to lean back against him.

"You do whatever makes you happy, Ty," he says, and Tyler doesn't know how to tell him that doing _Jamie_ would make him happy, so he stays quiet.

But when they get back to the table, the girl from the bar is there, sitting in the seat he had vacated. The boys all start talking over to each other, saying they invited her over to meet Tyler, and why doesn't he ask her to dance? Tyler goes from warmly content to _pissed_. Why can't they just leave him alone? They're all looking at him with grins on their faces like they think they did him a favor.

And, look, Tyler can be a dick sometimes, but usually not on purpose. The girl has lost some of the confidence she was projecting at the bar, looking a little uncertain now that she's surrounded by a bunch of hockey players, and Tyler doesn't want to embarrass her. He takes a deep swig of his beer before turning and handing it to Jamie. Jamie takes it, looking like he understands what Tyler's thinking, and shoots him a crooked smile.

"You wanna dance?" he asks, turning to the girl. She smiles gratefully and stands up, grabbing the hand he holds out. They dance for a couple songs without saying a word, Tyler stewing in his anger and pointedly keeping his eyes away from where he knows the boys are watching. He feels a little guilty for not attempting to make conversation with the girl. He never even asked her name.

"What's your name?" he asks.

"Lexi," she says with a wry smile. "What's yours?"

"Tyler," he responds, and then can't think of anything else to say. "Nice to meet you," he adds lamely.

"You're not really into this, are you?" She doesn't seem upset- a little amused maybe. He smiles apologetically.

"Sorry," he says. "My friends keep trying to set me up. I told them to stop but they don't listen."

"Bad break up?" She sounds sympathetic and Tyler feels a little bit like a loser.

"No, just… I used to hook up a lot and that's not really what I want anymore," he tries to explain. "They don't believe me so they think they're helping me." She hums and considers him for a moment.

"You like someone," she says matter-of-factly. Her eyes shoot back to the table briefly before settling back on him. "A male someone?" she asks, a little more hesitantly. Tyler heaves out a heavy sigh.

"Am I that obvious?" he asks nervously. She's the first person, besides his mom, that he's admitted his crush to.

"I saw you two at the bar. The way you touched and leaned toward each other was pretty intimate," she explains. "You haven't made a move?"

"I told him I'm queer and he just said he supports me no matter what," Tyler doesn't want to think about it. Just knowing he'll never be with Jamie makes something settle heavily in his gut. "I don't think there would've been a more perfect moment for him to tell me he's into dudes, too."

"I wouldn't give up just yet," she argues. "He's barely taken his eyes off you since we walked away." It's an effort not to look over at Jamie to see if she's telling the truth, but he manages.

"Would you mind if I…" he trails off, gesturing vaguely toward the table. She smiles and nods. "Sorry to waste your time."

"You didn't, I promise," she says, still smiling. "This was interesting." He laughs and they say their goodbyes before Tyler makes his way back to the table. But with every step he takes, he gets more and more upset. Not even angry, really, just… sad. Frustrated.

He makes it back to the table and pointedly ignores all of the jeering from his teammates. He slips into the seat next to Jamie and relaxes a bit as Jamie hands him his beer and throws an arm around his shoulders. The boys keep asking Tyler questions, trying to get a reaction from him, but he pretends not to hear them. He chugs the beer and tries not to think about anything but the warm weight around his shoulders. But a comment about _with your reputation, no one wants to sleep with you anymore_ has Tyler on his feet and heading back to the bar before he realizes what he's doing. The boys make comments like that all the time and he usually laughs them off. Right now it just feels like knife cuts. When he comes back, the boys all look a little contrite, like maybe Jamie scolded them. Good.

"You okay, Ty?" Jamie asks, concern written all over his face as Tyler sits next to him.

"Am I not good enough to be in a serious relationship?" he bursts out, taking another drink. He keeps his eyes on the table. Some of the guys closest to him go suddenly, deathly quiet. "What, I'm good enough for a hookup but not good enough to date?" he feels sick, but he can't stop himself, can't keep his mouth shut. By now the whole table is quiet and staring at him, wide-eyed. "You all think it's so funny, the idea of me being serious about anything. I know I'm a fucking joke, okay, but you don't have to rub it in."

"Tyler," someone starts, but Tyler suddenly can't sit here for a second longer. He stands up and chugs the rest of his beer before practically slamming the bottle on the table. Without a word, he makes his way back to the dance floor. He's embarrassed. He doesn't know where that outburst came from; he's usually better at internalizing his frustration and dealing with it later.

He throws himself into the crowd of people on the dance floor and downs drink after drink, hoping to forget everything he just said. He's going to have to deal with it later. There's a slim chance that they'll let him brush it off as him being drunk, but Jamie for sure isn't going to let it go.

In fact, an hour later, when Tyler's well and truly drunk and about ready to head home, he finally looks back at the table where the guys had been sitting. Jamie's the only one still there, dark eyes locked onto Tyler. He stumbles his way over to the table, knowing he's going to have an awful hangover in the morning. He doesn't think that's the only thing he's going to regret. Jamie stands up when Tyler gets close.

"I'm taking you home," he says. Tyler's surprised by how calm he sounds. He expected more of a lecture, or at least a disapproving tone, but Jamie just looks a little sad. Tyler doesn't argue when Jamie starts herding him toward the door, or when he ushers him into the back of an Uber he must have called.

Neither of them say anything as they make the drive to Tyler's house. Tyler closes his eyes and leans his head against the window, unsure about why he's trying so hard to avoid looking at Jamie. He's just so tired of disappointing people; he doesn't want to see the look he's sure is in Jamie's eyes. He'll deal with it tomorrow. He's surprised when he gets out of the car at his place and Jamie follows, but he doesn't try to stop him. Tyler unlocks the door and starts heading toward the bedroom while Jamie makes his way to the kitchen. He hears Jamie let the dogs out into the yard as he goes to the bathroom, blearily managing to get his clothes off before climbing into bed. Jamie comes into the room a few moments later with a couple glasses of water and an some Tylenol.

"Drink this," he says, holding out one of the glasses. Tyler doesn't argue, just pushes himself up on his elbow and drinks the whole thing as quickly as he can. Jamie sets the other glass and the Tylenol on the bedside table. "These are for tomorrow."

"Thanks," Tyler slurs, blinking groggily at Jamie. "'m sorry about what I said." It seems really important that Jamie knows that. Jamie sighs and crouches down to look Tyler in the eye.

"Don't apologize for expressing how you feel. And you're wrong, Ty," Jamie says seriously. He reaches out a hand and runs it through Tyler's hair. Tyler pushes up into the touch. "You _are_ good enough. Anyone would be lucky to have you. I wish I could just man up and tell you how I feel." Tyler gets the feeling that he wasn't supposed to hear that last part. Something about it makes his heart race, but his brain isn't working enough for it to connect. He hopes he remembers this in the morning. Jamie sighs and stands up. "Get some sleep, okay? Call me tomorrow so I know you're not dead."

Tyler's asleep before he's even finished his sentence.

The first thing Tyler thinks when he wakes up is, _Jamie likes me_.

The second thing he thinks is, _I'm gonna puke_.

But once he's flushed out his system and drank the glass of water Jamie left for him, Tyler's back to point number one. He doesn't have a super clear memory of what exactly Jamie said, but the sentiment was there. Jamie _likes him_.

He almost runs out of his house without clothes on before he realizes what he's doing. He runs back inside and finds something to wear that doesn't look too stupid. Then he realizes that he needs to let the dogs out again, and he takes a few minutes to brush his teeth- just in case.

It isn't until he's ringing the doorbell at Jamie's house that he realizes just what he's doing. What if he misunderstood? What if Jamie didn't say anything at all and it was just a dream? What if Jamie slams the door in his face? But when Jamie opens the door, he's wide-eyed and hesitant, looking like a deer in the headlights.

"Ty?" he asks, surprised. "What are you doing here?" He steps back to let Tyler in and they stand awkwardly in the doorway. Tyler opens his mouth a couple times, but can't seem to get the words out. He isn't really even sure what we _wants_ to say. Jamie gets more and more fidgety, like he's about to take flight, and finally Tyler cracks.

"I love you." And that is absolutely _not_ what he meant to say. He freezes and Jamie freezes and they stand there staring at each other in similar states of shock. When Jamie doesn't respond for several minutes, Tyler's heart sinks. He definitely just ruined everything. He turns back toward the door, reaching out to open it, when Jamie's hand shoots out and grabs his wrist.

"You-" Jamie starts before breaking off. "Maybe we should go sit down."

"Good idea," Tyler agrees, feeling a little better when Jamie doesn't let go of his wrist, like he's afraid Tyler's going to try to leave again. That's a good sign. He leads them to the living room and they sit down on the couch facing each other, Jamie finally letting go of him.

"You love me?" Jamie says, like he's checking to make sure he heard correctly. Tyler figures that if Jamie didn't freak out and kick him out the first time he said it, this situation can't possibly end up too horribly. Either way, he'll have his answer.

"Yes," he says simply, tilting his chip up defiantly. There's silence again, but Tyler is determined not to let it get to him. Jamie just needs some time to process. That's understandable.

"Are you sure?" Jamie ends up asking. The question catches Tyler off guard and he blinks back at him.

"Yeah… pretty sure. Remember when I told you I'm into dudes?" Tyler checks. "Was kinda half-hoping you would tell me you were into dudes, too?" He says it like a question, but he doesn't mean for it to be. "It's fine if you aren't. I just think I need to clear the air, here."

"I am," Jamie says quickly. "Into men, I mean. And… into you."

"Really?" Tyler asks, not quite ready to believe it. "Like… for real?"

"For real," Jamie agrees.

"You never said anything."

"You didn't either." And, yeah, Jamie has a point.

"Why didn't you tell me you're… not straight? Not that you owe me anything," Tyler hastens to say. "I'm just curious."

"I guess knowing you're queer, if I told you I'm bisexual, and then we both knew the other was into men, if you weren't into me then it would've sucked even more than thinking I never had a chance." Jamie says. "But if you didn't know I was into men then you wouldn't have to tell me that you weren't into _me_."

"Sounds complicated," Tyler says, only half following what Jamie said. "So, you didn't tell me because you didn't want me to say I wasn't into you?"

"When you put it like that it sounds dumb." Jamie's blushing but Tyler scoots closer on the couch.

"So let’s put it behind us, yeah?" he says, reaching out to run a hand down Jamie's arm soothingly. "I'm into you and you're into me. You wanna try this out?"

"Yeah," Jamie says, smiling. He grabs Tyler's hand and tangles their fingers together. "This is a lot less complicated than we made it."

"That's how it usually goes," Tyler nods. He suddenly goes scarlet, remembering last night. "The guys are going to want to _talk_ to me, aren't they?"

"Yep," Jamie says, smiling wryly. "I've already got a couple texts asking me what they should do."

"Think I should tell them I’m queer? Maybe they'd stop throwing women at me," Tyler muses. Jamie laughs.

"Give it a few months and we can tell them about us," Jamie says.

"Oh, you're that confident this is gonna work, huh?" he teases, but he stops laughing when Jamie flushes and looks away. "Hey, hey, I was kidding," Tyler says, moving forward and straddling Jamie's lap. He takes Jamie's face in his hands and forces him to look Tyler in the eye. "We already work, Jame. There's no doubt in my mind that we'll be fucking awesome together."

"You're not gonna get sick of me?" Jamie tries to play it off as teasing, but he sounds nervous and a little afraid. Tyler leans down and presses a soft kiss to Jamie's forehead.

"You're my favorite person ever. Well," Tyler backtracks, "actually I think my mom is. And my sisters are in there somewhere. But you're definitely top five." Jamie laughs, which is what Tyler was going for. "Seriously. You know I'm not super good at relationships, but no one's ever just _got_ me like you do. I think it's worth a shot."

"My mom says we're good for each other," Jamie says wryly. "She thinks we've been together for months." Tyler can't help but laugh.

"My mom's been trying to convince me to man up and ask you out for months, too." Tyler admits. Jamie smiles up at him and Tyler can't resist leaning down and kissing his forehead again. "You're so cute." Jamie blushes and it's so _endearing_ , and Tyler's finally allowed to look. He brings a hand up to run through Jamie's hair, and Jamie follows the movement, smiling.

"Can you just kiss me, now?" Jamie asks, hands landing on Tyler's thighs. Tyler grins, slipping his other hand up into Jamie's hair as he leans down. The kiss is ruined a little bit by the fact that Tyler can't stop grinning, and Jamie starts giggling against his lips. Tyler starts giggling too until he has to pull back and rest his forehead against Jamie's, both of them still chuckling.

"That was kinda awful," Tyler says through his laughter.

"Guess we'll just have to practice," Jamie breathes, pulling Tyler back down.


End file.
